1
00:00:12,313 --> 00:00:14,457
♪ I'll bet We've been together ♪
2
00:00:14,481 --> 00:00:17,561
♪ For a million years ♪
3
00:00:17,585 --> 00:00:19,929
♪ And I'll bet
We'll be together ♪
4
00:00:19,953 --> 00:00:23,032
♪ For a million more ♪
5
00:00:23,056 --> 00:00:25,902
♪ Ooh, it's like I
started breathin' ♪
6
00:00:25,926 --> 00:00:28,772
♪ On the night we kissed ♪
7
00:00:28,796 --> 00:00:34,144
♪ Well, I can't remember
What I ever did before ♪
8
00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:36,979
♪ What would we do, baby ♪
9
00:00:37,003 --> 00:00:38,637
♪ Without us? ♪
10
00:00:39,973 --> 00:00:43,019
♪ What would we do, baby ♪
11
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:45,989
♪ Without us? ♪
12
00:00:46,013 --> 00:00:48,058
♪ And there ain't No nothin' ♪
13
00:00:48,082 --> 00:00:51,194
♪ We can't love
Each other through ♪
14
00:00:51,218 --> 00:00:54,164
♪ What would we do, baby ♪
15
00:00:54,188 --> 00:00:57,066
♪ Without us? ♪
16
00:00:57,090 --> 00:00:59,858
♪ Sha-la-la-lahhh ♪
17
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:10,880
Oh, Steven, I got
those lists you wanted.
18
00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:11,981
Thanks.
19
00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:13,950
This one is
private contributors.
20
00:01:13,974 --> 00:01:16,374
This one here is
government grants.
21
00:01:17,210 --> 00:01:18,755
If Reagan cuts back any more,
22
00:01:18,779 --> 00:01:21,791
the White House won't be
eligible to get our magazine.
23
00:01:21,815 --> 00:01:23,459
Wow, hey, this'll get
us off to a good start:
24
00:01:23,483 --> 00:01:26,262
Here's a check for
$500 from Dennis Ellway.
25
00:01:26,286 --> 00:01:27,330
Uh-huh.
26
00:01:27,354 --> 00:01:28,865
Why aren't you excited?
27
00:01:28,889 --> 00:01:31,401
He sends us a check
for $500 every week.
28
00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:33,057
They always bounce.
29
00:01:34,128 --> 00:01:35,371
What do you want
me to do with it?
30
00:01:35,395 --> 00:01:38,241
Deposit it. Maybe
this time we'll get lucky.
31
00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:40,910
Well, I guess this is one
part of public broadcasting life
32
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:42,145
you won't miss, huh, Arthur?
33
00:01:42,169 --> 00:01:44,214
Oh, I don't know.
After 14 years,
34
00:01:44,238 --> 00:01:46,049
you get used to
begging and groveling
35
00:01:46,073 --> 00:01:47,539
It becomes a way of life.
36
00:01:48,341 --> 00:01:49,886
Well, hi, kids.
37
00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:51,721
Where you been? Down the hall.
38
00:01:51,745 --> 00:01:54,157
Alex stopped off to
watch Wall $treet Week.
39
00:01:54,181 --> 00:01:56,159
Oh, how was it?
40
00:01:56,183 --> 00:01:57,794
Well, I found it
a little simplistic,
41
00:01:57,818 --> 00:02:01,130
but I guess it's okay
for your average broker.
42
00:02:01,154 --> 00:02:03,433
Mallory, look at you!
43
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:05,368
You're getting cuter every day.
44
00:02:05,392 --> 00:02:06,769
Oh, you're just saying that.
45
00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:07,970
No, I'm not.
46
00:02:07,994 --> 00:02:10,506
Yes, he is. Shut up, Alex.
47
00:02:10,530 --> 00:02:12,442
Steven, congratulate me.
48
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:13,976
I just talked Wincott Industries
49
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,746
into donating
$5,000 to the station.
50
00:02:16,770 --> 00:02:18,915
How did you get that
money out of Wincott?
51
00:02:18,939 --> 00:02:20,383
Arthur's been
after him for years.
52
00:02:20,407 --> 00:02:22,618
I explained the tax and
public relations benefits
53
00:02:22,642 --> 00:02:24,387
to Mr. Wincott,
and he bought it.
54
00:02:24,411 --> 00:02:27,857
I was beautiful. I was
gorgeous. I was sensational.
55
00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:28,925
And modest.
56
00:02:28,949 --> 00:02:30,649
No, I wasn't modest.
57
00:02:31,918 --> 00:02:34,030
I did have to buy
him six martinis
58
00:02:34,054 --> 00:02:35,998
and promised that you'd
give his wife some airtime
59
00:02:36,022 --> 00:02:37,667
for a Latin club.
60
00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:38,935
Her Latin club?
61
00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:40,970
Yeah. They come out,
they conjugate a few verbs.
62
00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:42,739
Veni, vidi, vici,
E pluribus unum,
63
00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:44,195
and they're gone.
64
00:02:45,132 --> 00:02:46,776
That's crazy, Richard.
65
00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:49,179
You're always talking about
originating local programming.
66
00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:50,480
Here's your opportunity.
67
00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:51,814
Arthur, talk to him.
68
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:54,384
What can I say, Steven?
That's not my job anymore.
69
00:02:54,408 --> 00:02:55,551
Excuse me, Arthur.
70
00:02:55,575 --> 00:02:57,620
Steven, Mr. Wincott
is waiting in your office.
71
00:02:57,644 --> 00:02:59,522
He want to tell you
personally how happy he is
72
00:02:59,546 --> 00:03:01,124
to be involved with
the PBS station.
73
00:03:01,148 --> 00:03:04,127
No problem, Steven. I'll
take care of things down here.
74
00:03:04,151 --> 00:03:05,862
Steven, let me tell you
how persuasive I was.
75
00:03:05,886 --> 00:03:08,064
That's okay. Please! Please!
76
00:03:08,088 --> 00:03:10,955
That's Alex in ten years.
77
00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:15,238
Hello.
78
00:03:15,262 --> 00:03:17,974
Oh, good. I'll send
someone down.
79
00:03:17,998 --> 00:03:19,509
Uh, Alex, would
you mind going over
80
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:22,411
and picking up these
clips of these shows?
81
00:03:22,435 --> 00:03:24,714
We're doing a retrospective
of the last 15 years.
82
00:03:24,738 --> 00:03:25,715
Sure, I'll handle it.
83
00:03:25,739 --> 00:03:27,918
Those film cans are very heavy.
84
00:03:27,942 --> 00:03:29,502
Jennifer, maybe
you should do it.
85
00:03:31,344 --> 00:03:32,521
Okay, we'll all go help.
86
00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:34,357
Hey, you don't all have to go.
87
00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:36,226
I'll stay here and help
with the phone campaign.
88
00:03:36,250 --> 00:03:37,793
I love to talk on the phone.
89
00:03:37,817 --> 00:03:39,529
Mallory, don't forget.
This is business.
90
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:43,355
Yeah. Don't start gossiping
with any of the donors.
91
00:03:48,662 --> 00:03:50,439
Well, do you want me to...?
92
00:03:50,463 --> 00:03:53,376
To start organizing some
numbers or...? Or call...?
93
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:54,877
I'm sorry I'm staring, Mallory.
94
00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:58,148
I just can't get over how
fast time has flown by.
95
00:03:58,172 --> 00:03:59,548
How old are you now?
96
00:03:59,572 --> 00:04:00,549
Fifteen.
97
00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:02,451
No! You can't be.
98
00:04:02,475 --> 00:04:04,720
Oh, I'm pretty sure.
99
00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:07,957
Oh, you've become
a... Such a beautiful girl.
100
00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:09,358
Or should I say young woman?
101
00:04:09,382 --> 00:04:12,028
Girl. Girl.
102
00:04:12,052 --> 00:04:14,363
Young girl.
103
00:04:14,387 --> 00:04:16,165
It's wonderful to
see you growing up,
104
00:04:16,189 --> 00:04:18,934
becoming such a
beautiful young lady.
105
00:04:18,958 --> 00:04:20,703
Uh, thank you.
106
00:04:20,727 --> 00:04:22,305
Now, do you want
me to start calling
107
00:04:22,329 --> 00:04:24,040
or should I handle
incoming calls?
108
00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:26,576
Oh, no, no, no. That can
wait. I haven't seen you in ages.
109
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,511
Now, before we start working,
110
00:04:28,535 --> 00:04:30,813
why don't you give
your Uncle Arthur a hug?
111
00:04:30,837 --> 00:04:32,104
Sure.
112
00:04:36,042 --> 00:04:37,042
Arthur.
113
00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:51,467
How did we do today, honey?
114
00:04:51,491 --> 00:04:55,138
Not bad. We got
pledges for $7,500.
115
00:04:55,162 --> 00:04:57,039
Is that counting the
money from Dennis Ellway?
116
00:04:57,063 --> 00:05:01,366
Uh, no. Including his
money, we have $87,000.
117
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:05,281
Alex, I want to talk to you.
118
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:06,916
I need your advice on something.
119
00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:08,884
It's really serious.
120
00:05:08,908 --> 00:05:10,909
Your hair looks
great. Can I go now?
121
00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:14,157
Alex, I mean it.
122
00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:15,558
It's just...
123
00:05:15,582 --> 00:05:17,193
I've got a problem.
124
00:05:17,217 --> 00:05:18,361
We all know that, Mallory,
125
00:05:18,385 --> 00:05:21,364
but admitting it
is the first step.
126
00:05:21,388 --> 00:05:23,333
Alex, stop it.
127
00:05:23,357 --> 00:05:24,890
Mallory, what is it?
128
00:05:26,226 --> 00:05:28,671
Well, this problem...
129
00:05:28,695 --> 00:05:31,808
uh, see, it's kind of in
the neighborhood of sex.
130
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,542
"The neighborhood of sex"?
131
00:05:33,566 --> 00:05:35,678
What, are we talking
central-downtown sex
132
00:05:35,702 --> 00:05:38,269
or is this a suburb of sex?
133
00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:41,917
I'm not sure.
134
00:05:41,941 --> 00:05:44,687
Mallory, didn't they show
you that film in hygiene class?
135
00:05:44,711 --> 00:05:47,151
You know, the one
with the baby chickies?
136
00:05:48,215 --> 00:05:49,392
Alex, times have changed.
137
00:05:49,416 --> 00:05:52,028
They show us one
with the baby babies.
138
00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:55,598
You sure that, uh, I'm the one
you want to talk to about this?
139
00:05:55,622 --> 00:05:56,932
I mean, I'm your brother.
140
00:05:56,956 --> 00:05:59,502
You don't want to reveal
anything too personal to me.
141
00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:02,304
Look, I'll go outside
and get a stranger.
142
00:06:02,328 --> 00:06:04,061
Alex, cut it out.
143
00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:07,499
This is really hard for me.
144
00:06:08,736 --> 00:06:10,468
I'm sorry, Mallory.
145
00:06:11,604 --> 00:06:12,764
What's wrong?
146
00:06:15,242 --> 00:06:18,454
Well, down at the station
after everyone else left,
147
00:06:18,478 --> 00:06:20,623
I was alone with Arthur
148
00:06:20,647 --> 00:06:22,458
and...
149
00:06:22,482 --> 00:06:24,442
well, I think he
made a pass at me.
150
00:06:25,285 --> 00:06:27,163
Arthur?
151
00:06:27,187 --> 00:06:29,065
Uncle Arthur?
152
00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:31,600
Come on. He's known
you since you were born.
153
00:06:31,624 --> 00:06:33,503
He used to bathe you
when you were a baby.
154
00:06:33,527 --> 00:06:35,861
I think he wants
his old job back.
155
00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:41,644
I can't... I can't believe this.
156
00:06:41,668 --> 00:06:44,080
There has to be some
reasonable explanation.
157
00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:47,149
There might be. Like I said,
I'm not sure it was a pass, but...
158
00:06:47,173 --> 00:06:48,806
What exactly did he do?
159
00:06:53,613 --> 00:06:55,524
Well, he held my hands,
160
00:06:55,548 --> 00:06:57,526
and, uh...
161
00:06:57,550 --> 00:07:00,070
he gave me a kiss
and then a hug.
162
00:07:01,054 --> 00:07:03,633
He's friendly, Mallory.
163
00:07:03,657 --> 00:07:04,767
He hugged me real tight.
164
00:07:04,791 --> 00:07:06,202
He's a warm person.
165
00:07:06,226 --> 00:07:08,438
And then he patted
me on the behind.
166
00:07:08,462 --> 00:07:09,606
Doesn't mean anything.
167
00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:12,708
Ballplayers do it all the time.
168
00:07:12,732 --> 00:07:16,278
I'd understand if I'd
just hit a home run.
169
00:07:16,302 --> 00:07:18,347
He thinks you're
cute, that's all.
170
00:07:18,371 --> 00:07:21,651
Look, Uncle Arthur just
wouldn't do something like that.
171
00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:23,352
Are you sure?
172
00:07:23,376 --> 00:07:24,476
I'm positive.
173
00:07:25,679 --> 00:07:27,590
Good.
174
00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:29,592
I've never been so happy
to be wrong about something
175
00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:30,994
in my life.
176
00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:33,229
I feel terrible that I
even suspected him.
177
00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:34,898
Don't feel bad about it.
178
00:07:34,922 --> 00:07:37,733
It's easy to misinterpret
other people's actions,
179
00:07:37,757 --> 00:07:42,205
especially in these days
of ambiguous sexual roles.
180
00:07:42,229 --> 00:07:43,973
Yeah, I guess that's what I did.
181
00:07:43,997 --> 00:07:45,808
Well, it happens to all of us.
182
00:07:45,832 --> 00:07:47,310
First time a girl
kissed me good night
183
00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:49,379
I thought she was
in love with me.
184
00:07:49,403 --> 00:07:52,014
Now I realize sometimes
they kiss me good night
185
00:07:52,038 --> 00:07:54,371
stop me from talking.
186
00:07:56,342 --> 00:07:57,654
Alex, thanks a lot.
187
00:07:57,678 --> 00:07:59,823
You've really been
supportive and understanding.
188
00:07:59,847 --> 00:08:00,990
It's kind of a nice surprise,
189
00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:03,426
since you're
usually such a creep.
190
00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:05,884
Thanks, Mallory. It
means a lot to me.
191
00:08:07,521 --> 00:08:10,933
"Hi. I'm Steven Keaton.
192
00:08:10,957 --> 00:08:12,101
"I'm the general manager
193
00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:16,139
"of your public
television station, WKS.
194
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:18,063
"We desperately need your help.
195
00:08:19,466 --> 00:08:23,146
"If each one of you could
just look into your hearts
196
00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:26,215
and then reach into your
pocketbook, we may..."
197
00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:28,350
Uh, hold... Hold it right...
Hold it right there, Dad.
198
00:08:28,374 --> 00:08:30,352
That approach is all wrong.
199
00:08:30,376 --> 00:08:31,720
What's wrong
with it? I wrote it.
200
00:08:31,744 --> 00:08:32,956
Well, you sound desperate.
201
00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:34,424
Nobody's gonna want
to give you money
202
00:08:34,448 --> 00:08:36,525
if you sound like
you really need it.
203
00:08:36,549 --> 00:08:39,428
Well, I thought it sounded okay.
204
00:08:39,452 --> 00:08:41,664
Don't patronize him.
205
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:43,533
No, I mean it.
206
00:08:43,557 --> 00:08:46,335
Your father is a terrific
spokesman for the station.
207
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:48,271
He's warm, he's appealing...
208
00:08:48,295 --> 00:08:50,006
Arthur, it's getting
late. Give me a break.
209
00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:53,543
Quiet, kids. Your Uncle
Arthur has the floor.
210
00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:56,545
Go on, Arthur. As I recall,
your last words were, uh,
211
00:08:56,569 --> 00:08:58,281
"warm and appealing."
212
00:08:58,305 --> 00:08:59,816
May I be excused?
213
00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:02,117
I have a feeling
this could get sticky.
214
00:09:02,141 --> 00:09:03,753
You can help me get
dessert. If you'd like.
215
00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:05,187
Can I help too? Sure.
216
00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:07,357
Uh, Steven, I'm gonna need
your help to get the tray down.
217
00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:09,392
Ah. Warm and appealing...
218
00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:12,294
Uh, Mallory, could
you wait a second?
219
00:09:12,318 --> 00:09:13,695
Uh, no, I don't think I can.
220
00:09:13,719 --> 00:09:16,065
See, everybody has to carry
their own desserts. House rules.
221
00:09:16,089 --> 00:09:18,234
I just want to talk to
you about yesterday.
222
00:09:18,258 --> 00:09:21,170
Yesterday? Yes.
Down at the station?
223
00:09:21,194 --> 00:09:22,371
Uh, the station.
224
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,240
Yeah, that was fun
stuffing those envelopes...
225
00:09:24,264 --> 00:09:25,841
I'm not talking about envelopes.
226
00:09:25,865 --> 00:09:27,710
Well, what else is there?
227
00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:29,945
Let's be honest, Mallory.
228
00:09:29,969 --> 00:09:31,381
When I gave you that big hug,
229
00:09:31,405 --> 00:09:33,516
you thought I was...
230
00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:35,606
well, making a pass
at you, didn't you?
231
00:09:36,776 --> 00:09:37,887
Well, maybe.
232
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:38,888
I thought so.
233
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,923
I'm so glad I brought it up.
234
00:09:40,947 --> 00:09:42,591
It's just that I was
so happy to see you,
235
00:09:42,615 --> 00:09:45,561
I gave you a big
hug, that's all.
236
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,897
I mean, I'm sorry if you
thought it was too big.
237
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:49,632
I didn't, really.
238
00:09:49,656 --> 00:09:50,700
Look, I want you to know
239
00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:52,234
that I think of you
only in one way,
240
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:53,836
and that's as little Mallory.
241
00:09:53,860 --> 00:09:56,772
And all I want is for you to
think of me as Uncle Arthur.
242
00:09:56,796 --> 00:09:59,075
That's all I want too. Good.
243
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,677
So if I did anything to
make you think of me
244
00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:03,079
in any other way, I'm sorry.
245
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:05,615
Well, I apologize for
jumping to any conclusions.
246
00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:08,351
Your apology is
totally unnecessary.
247
00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:09,685
So is yours. No hard feelings?
248
00:10:09,709 --> 00:10:11,943
No hard feelings, no.
249
00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:28,137
"And, uh, so if you,
uh, feel like giving, give.
250
00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:31,273
If you don't, don't."
251
00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:33,175
I think you've gone too
far the other way now.
252
00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:34,810
Now you're too low-pressure.
253
00:10:34,834 --> 00:10:36,812
Kids, what do you think?
254
00:10:36,836 --> 00:10:38,047
You think it's too long?
255
00:10:38,071 --> 00:10:39,048
I don't know.
256
00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:40,683
Are they gonna validate parking
257
00:10:40,707 --> 00:10:42,385
down at the station?
258
00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:44,987
Maybe you're right.
I'll keep working on it.
259
00:10:45,011 --> 00:10:46,656
Oh, by the way, I
thought I'd throw in
260
00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:48,391
a few nice words about Arthur
261
00:10:48,415 --> 00:10:50,092
since he is leaving and all.
262
00:10:50,116 --> 00:10:52,228
You're making a speech
about Arthur on TV?
263
00:10:52,252 --> 00:10:54,062
Uh, sure. Kind of a
going-away present.
264
00:10:54,086 --> 00:10:55,898
He'll get a kick out of it
and I think he deserves
265
00:10:55,922 --> 00:10:57,466
a little attention, don't you?
266
00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:59,468
I know he wants some.
267
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:02,038
"Arthur Press is a man
we can all be proud of.
268
00:11:02,062 --> 00:11:04,440
A man who works
hard and plays hard."
269
00:11:04,464 --> 00:11:07,076
Uh, Dad, I don't know
about that last line.
270
00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:08,677
Oh, what's wrong with it?
271
00:11:08,701 --> 00:11:11,580
Well, I just don't think anybody
cares how hard Arthur plays.
272
00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:13,416
I know I don't. Well, okay.
273
00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:15,484
Maybe you're right.
274
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:17,920
"Arthur's kindness, his
warmth and his sincerity
275
00:11:17,944 --> 00:11:19,389
"are an inspiration.
276
00:11:19,413 --> 00:11:21,324
"He's a man who has
helped all of us at the station
277
00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:23,426
"feel like we're
not just coworkers,
278
00:11:23,450 --> 00:11:25,961
"we're one big happy family.
279
00:11:25,985 --> 00:11:28,931
You can always count on
Arthur for a smile or hug."
280
00:11:28,955 --> 00:11:30,433
That's true.
281
00:11:30,457 --> 00:11:35,203
"So, Arthur, it is with
sadness that I say adieu.
282
00:11:35,227 --> 00:11:38,407
"But I know that at
WGGK they'll say
283
00:11:38,431 --> 00:11:41,732
howdy-do to you."
284
00:11:46,773 --> 00:11:49,385
Well? Well, what do you think?
285
00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:50,819
It's nice.
286
00:11:50,843 --> 00:11:52,855
It... It's a little long.
287
00:11:52,879 --> 00:11:56,492
Oh, well, okay, okay.
This isn't the final draft.
288
00:11:56,516 --> 00:11:58,127
I'll, uh, make it
a little shorter.
289
00:11:58,151 --> 00:12:00,430
I've already cut
out half the speech.
290
00:12:00,454 --> 00:12:03,866
You did say some very
nice things though, Steven.
291
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:05,100
Thanks a lot.
292
00:12:05,124 --> 00:12:07,459
I'll try to think of some
shorter nice things now.
293
00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:10,673
Okay, guys, you got
a kitchen to clean.
294
00:12:10,697 --> 00:12:12,074
Got a lot of dirty dishes.
295
00:12:12,098 --> 00:12:13,976
Jennifer, you want
to wash or dry?
296
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,177
I'll dry.
297
00:12:15,201 --> 00:12:18,114
There's more dignity to drying.
298
00:12:18,138 --> 00:12:19,848
Guys? Uh, Mom, Alex and I
299
00:12:19,872 --> 00:12:21,016
will be right with you.
300
00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:23,418
We're going to, uh,
straighten up in here.
301
00:12:23,442 --> 00:12:25,922
What are you talking about?
It's... Everything's okay. It's...
302
00:12:27,546 --> 00:12:29,266
We're gonna clean up this mess.
303
00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:32,750
Mallory, what's going on?
304
00:12:33,820 --> 00:12:35,064
It's Uncle Arthur.
305
00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:37,666
He kissed me, Alex,
on the lips. Hard.
306
00:12:37,690 --> 00:12:39,902
They don't do that when
you hit a home run, do they?
307
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:42,437
Not usually, no.
308
00:12:42,461 --> 00:12:44,501
Close game. World Series.
309
00:12:46,566 --> 00:12:48,944
All right. All right. I admit
there's a problem here.
310
00:12:48,968 --> 00:12:51,480
Help me, Alex. I
don't know what to do.
311
00:12:51,504 --> 00:12:53,082
All right, Mallory.
Just don't worry.
312
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:55,084
Let's work this out logically.
313
00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:57,519
Important thing is
you're okay, right?
314
00:12:57,543 --> 00:12:58,654
I guess so, yeah.
315
00:12:58,678 --> 00:13:00,256
Okay, okay. So, what do we know?
316
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,524
We know you're okay,
and Uncle Arthur isn't, right?
317
00:13:02,548 --> 00:13:03,726
So it's one-one.
318
00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:05,161
Alex, you're not helping.
319
00:13:05,185 --> 00:13:06,429
I'm trying, I'm... I'm trying.
320
00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:08,364
Can you try harder? Okay...
321
00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:10,366
I think the thing to do is...
322
00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:12,501
I... I mean... I mean,
this is just my opinion,
323
00:13:12,525 --> 00:13:14,202
but I think it's the
right thing to do.
324
00:13:14,226 --> 00:13:15,438
What? Talk to your mother.
325
00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:17,072
Alex, no! Mom! Come here, quick.
326
00:13:17,096 --> 00:13:18,140
What's wrong?
327
00:13:18,164 --> 00:13:19,909
Mallory wants to talk to you.
328
00:13:19,933 --> 00:13:21,243
I'd, uh, stay, Mallory,
329
00:13:21,267 --> 00:13:23,478
but I think you'd be
more comfortable if I left.
330
00:13:23,502 --> 00:13:24,502
I know I would.
331
00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:28,918
What's up?
332
00:13:28,942 --> 00:13:32,654
Mom, don't get mad
at me for saying this,
333
00:13:32,678 --> 00:13:34,623
but Uncle Arthur
made a pass at me.
334
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,625
Arthur?
335
00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:37,827
Are you sure?
336
00:13:37,851 --> 00:13:39,395
Mom, I'm positive.
337
00:13:39,419 --> 00:13:42,097
Mallory, when
you say "a pass..."?
338
00:13:42,121 --> 00:13:44,789
I mean a pass, with
his hands and his lips.
339
00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:47,936
He did it twice. Once
down at the station,
340
00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:50,594
and then again last night
while you were in the kitchen.
341
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:53,142
Did he hurt you?
342
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:56,245
No, but he scared me.
343
00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:58,214
Mom, I'm so embarrassed.
344
00:13:58,238 --> 00:13:59,948
Oh, honey, you
shouldn't be embarrassed.
345
00:13:59,972 --> 00:14:01,817
You didn't do anything wrong.
346
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,452
I just...
347
00:14:03,476 --> 00:14:06,255
I can't understand why he
would do something like this.
348
00:14:06,279 --> 00:14:07,690
No, neither can I.
349
00:14:07,714 --> 00:14:10,092
But you can bet we'll find
out when we talk to him.
350
00:14:10,116 --> 00:14:11,326
Talk to him?
351
00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:14,063
Oh, Mom, I couldn't do that.
352
00:14:14,087 --> 00:14:15,998
Can't we just pretend
this never happened?
353
00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:18,333
No, honey, no. That's
one thing we can't do.
354
00:14:18,357 --> 00:14:19,602
These things happen too often
355
00:14:19,626 --> 00:14:21,570
to pretend that
they don't exist.
356
00:14:21,594 --> 00:14:23,339
Did it ever happen to you?
357
00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:25,274
Uh, y-yes, it did.
358
00:14:25,298 --> 00:14:29,946
Uh, a friend of the family,
well, grabbed me one time.
359
00:14:29,970 --> 00:14:31,881
Well, what did you do?
360
00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:35,717
Went upstairs, put on
American Bandstand,
361
00:14:35,741 --> 00:14:37,708
and did the twist.
362
00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:40,622
I was confused.
363
00:14:40,646 --> 00:14:41,690
I was embarrassed.
364
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:43,959
I... I thought maybe
it was my fault.
365
00:14:43,983 --> 00:14:46,863
Or, I... I thought maybe I'd
misinterpreted what he did.
366
00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:50,566
And... And... And even if
he... He really meant to do it,
367
00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:52,501
what good was telling
anybody gonna do?
368
00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:54,603
That's how I feel.
369
00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:56,172
How can I accuse
him of being so rotten
370
00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:59,408
after all the wonderful things
he's done for me over the years?
371
00:14:59,432 --> 00:15:00,542
Mallory, listen to me.
372
00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:03,112
You don't want him
to do it to you again,
373
00:15:03,136 --> 00:15:05,536
and you don't want him to
do it to any other girls, do you?
374
00:15:07,807 --> 00:15:10,920
Okay, I guess you're right.
375
00:15:10,944 --> 00:15:12,821
But, I mean, he's such
a good friend of Dad's.
376
00:15:12,845 --> 00:15:14,757
I... I'm not saying
this is gonna be easy.
377
00:15:14,781 --> 00:15:17,693
Uh, maybe it would be better
if it's me that talks to Arthur
378
00:15:17,717 --> 00:15:19,461
instead of your dad.
379
00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:20,729
But one thing
I'm sure of, this...
380
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:23,232
This thing is gonna
be taken care of, okay?
381
00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:25,101
Okay.
382
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:26,735
I've come up with
a new approach.
383
00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:29,319
Who wants to hear a few
nice words about Arthur?
384
00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:35,165
Okay, I'll shorten it some more.
385
00:15:39,739 --> 00:15:41,083
About three
minutes to go, Steve.
386
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:42,918
I thought I had more time. No.
387
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,820
They're just finishing
up on that documentary.
388
00:15:44,844 --> 00:15:48,145
Fertilizer: Your Silent
Friend in the Garden.
389
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,094
It should be a big
ratings-grabber, that one.
390
00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:53,595
You never know.
391
00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:56,131
Yeah, that was Arthur's
baby. His last hurrah.
392
00:15:56,155 --> 00:15:58,400
Gives you a good idea
why he's moving on.
393
00:15:58,424 --> 00:16:00,069
Wait a minute, Richard.
394
00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:03,205
I agree that people with,
uh, less than 60 acres
395
00:16:03,229 --> 00:16:05,207
may find this one a little slow,
396
00:16:05,231 --> 00:16:07,943
but there's something to
remember about Arthur Press:
397
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,211
He was there at the beginning,
398
00:16:09,235 --> 00:16:11,680
when public broadcasting
was just a baby.
399
00:16:11,704 --> 00:16:12,915
And so were you.
400
00:16:12,939 --> 00:16:14,583
He, uh, deserves
a little respect.
401
00:16:14,607 --> 00:16:16,952
Save it for the speech, Steve.
402
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:18,354
Two minutes.
403
00:16:18,378 --> 00:16:20,489
Hey, Dad, I just wanted
to come and wish you luck.
404
00:16:20,513 --> 00:16:22,725
Oh, Alex, thanks.
I appreciate it.
405
00:16:22,749 --> 00:16:24,560
I'll be up here answering
phones if you need me.
406
00:16:24,584 --> 00:16:27,029
Uh, I... I can start off in
one of two ways, Alex:
407
00:16:27,053 --> 00:16:28,497
With a history of the station
408
00:16:28,521 --> 00:16:31,400
or, uh, maybe I should start
with a direct appeal for money.
409
00:16:31,424 --> 00:16:33,736
After the show that's
on right now? Yeah.
410
00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:36,460
I'd start with an alarm clock.
411
00:16:37,263 --> 00:16:38,673
Oh, hi, sweetheart.
412
00:16:38,697 --> 00:16:40,709
Hi. Now, remember, Dad,
413
00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:42,878
when you're making your speech,
414
00:16:42,902 --> 00:16:46,882
be humble, but try
to maintain your pride.
415
00:16:46,906 --> 00:16:48,417
I'll do my best.
416
00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:50,786
Here's a kiss for good
luck. Oh, thank you, sweetie.
417
00:16:50,810 --> 00:16:53,255
Oh, how about you
two? A little kiss for luck?
418
00:16:53,279 --> 00:16:54,545
Mwah.
419
00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:59,228
I got a warmer greeting
at my Army physical.
420
00:16:59,252 --> 00:17:00,429
I'm sorry, sweetheart.
421
00:17:00,453 --> 00:17:02,893
Turn to the left and cough.
422
00:17:03,389 --> 00:17:05,000
Good luck. Thanks.
423
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:06,102
You seen Arthur?
424
00:17:06,126 --> 00:17:08,004
No, but he should be
out here any minute.
425
00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:10,472
When you see him tell him I
want to talk to him. It's important.
426
00:17:10,496 --> 00:17:11,807
Well, sure. Anything wrong?
427
00:17:11,831 --> 00:17:13,409
No! No.
428
00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:15,544
- About 30 seconds, Steve.
- Okay, thank you.
429
00:17:15,568 --> 00:17:16,879
You know, Steven,
430
00:17:16,903 --> 00:17:19,948
I've seen that fertilizer
film a hundred times,
431
00:17:19,972 --> 00:17:22,050
and every time I find
something new in it.
432
00:17:22,074 --> 00:17:24,653
Some little pearl of wisdom.
433
00:17:24,677 --> 00:17:27,389
Yeah. It's hard to
watch it and not cry.
434
00:17:27,413 --> 00:17:28,857
Hello, Arthur. Hello, Elyse.
435
00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:29,925
I want to talk to you.
436
00:17:29,949 --> 00:17:32,127
I want to talk to
you about Mallory.
437
00:17:32,151 --> 00:17:33,328
Thank you, very much.
438
00:17:33,352 --> 00:17:35,163
Mallory told me something...
439
00:17:35,187 --> 00:17:37,700
Thank you. You got
it? Good. Marvelous.
440
00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:39,301
You're on, Steve.
441
00:17:39,325 --> 00:17:41,003
Hello.
442
00:17:41,027 --> 00:17:42,838
I'm Steven Keaton,
443
00:17:42,862 --> 00:17:45,107
general manager of WKS.
444
00:17:45,131 --> 00:17:47,776
Welcome to Pledge Week.
445
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:50,079
For those of you who
have just finished viewing
446
00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:54,349
Fertilizer: Your Silent
Friend in the Garden,
447
00:17:54,373 --> 00:17:56,151
what can I say?
448
00:17:56,175 --> 00:17:57,619
I'm sorry.
449
00:17:57,643 --> 00:17:59,688
I... I... I... I mean I'm
sorry that we won't be able
450
00:17:59,712 --> 00:18:01,556
to continue to bring
you that type of quality,
451
00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:04,593
as well as Sesame Street,
Masterpiece Theatre,
452
00:18:04,617 --> 00:18:06,661
American Playhouse
and all the rest,
453
00:18:06,685 --> 00:18:10,265
unless you help us and
help us now with money.
454
00:18:10,289 --> 00:18:12,767
Our courteous, efficient,
and friendly secretaries
455
00:18:12,791 --> 00:18:15,404
are standing by.
456
00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:18,295
I'd like to introduce
my wife, Elyse Keaton.
457
00:18:20,666 --> 00:18:21,776
This is Arthur Press,
458
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:23,845
a man whose name is
synonymous with WKS.
459
00:18:23,869 --> 00:18:26,181
You're not gonna get away
with this, buddy! You understand?
460
00:18:26,205 --> 00:18:29,285
In... In fact, not only is his
name synonymous, it rhymes.
461
00:18:29,309 --> 00:18:32,488
You just can't do this.
Arthur Press. WKS.
462
00:18:32,512 --> 00:18:33,855
What's going on? Nothing.
463
00:18:33,879 --> 00:18:36,057
It's not nothing! Can't it wait?
464
00:18:36,081 --> 00:18:38,494
Steven, Arthur tried
to seduce our daughter!
465
00:18:38,518 --> 00:18:39,558
Ah!
466
00:18:48,727 --> 00:18:49,960
We'll be right back.
467
00:18:54,066 --> 00:18:56,512
Arthur, I just have
one little question.
468
00:18:56,536 --> 00:18:57,946
What, Steve?
469
00:18:57,970 --> 00:19:00,682
Can you think of one reason
why I shouldn't kill you?
470
00:19:00,706 --> 00:19:03,519
Because it didn't
happen like that, Steven.
471
00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:05,821
Then why don't you tell
us exactly what happened?
472
00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:08,056
I don't remember
exactly, but you know me.
473
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:09,724
I'm an affectionate guy.
474
00:19:09,748 --> 00:19:12,149
Sometimes when I talk
to people, I touch them.
475
00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:15,197
With your lips?
476
00:19:15,221 --> 00:19:17,622
Look, uh, it might have...
477
00:19:19,892 --> 00:19:21,692
Okay, it did happen.
478
00:19:23,930 --> 00:19:27,676
I don't know what got into
me. I'm sorry. I really am.
479
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:30,679
You're sorry? Arthur, do
you think that's enough?
480
00:19:30,703 --> 00:19:32,947
I don't know what
else to say, Elyse.
481
00:19:32,971 --> 00:19:35,817
I don't understand
what's happening to me.
482
00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:37,486
Ever since Elizabeth
and I split up,
483
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,421
I've been acting crazy.
484
00:19:39,445 --> 00:19:40,755
Dressing like a teenager,
485
00:19:40,779 --> 00:19:42,691
touching up what's
left of my hair.
486
00:19:42,715 --> 00:19:44,693
Other people get divorced.
Other people get older.
487
00:19:44,717 --> 00:19:46,462
And they don't do what you did.
488
00:19:46,486 --> 00:19:47,596
I don't know what came over me.
489
00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:49,398
It was an
uncontrollable impulse.
490
00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:50,599
A one in a million thing.
491
00:19:50,623 --> 00:19:52,101
It happened twice.
492
00:19:52,125 --> 00:19:54,291
Okay, twice in a million.
493
00:19:55,728 --> 00:19:57,206
We were like family, Arthur.
494
00:19:57,230 --> 00:19:59,375
I didn't want to hurt her.
495
00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:02,311
Ah, but you did.
496
00:20:02,335 --> 00:20:03,767
I know.
497
00:20:05,404 --> 00:20:09,017
I've been screwing up
everything in my life these days.
498
00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:11,086
I had it once. Remember, Steve?
499
00:20:11,110 --> 00:20:12,221
I was the guy who said,
500
00:20:12,245 --> 00:20:14,156
Sesame Street, let's go with it.
501
00:20:14,180 --> 00:20:18,027
First time I saw Big Bird,
I said, that bird's a star.
502
00:20:18,051 --> 00:20:19,461
I never liked
Mr. Rogers, though.
503
00:20:19,485 --> 00:20:22,497
Why can't he change his
shoes before the show?
504
00:20:22,521 --> 00:20:24,466
Arthur,
505
00:20:24,490 --> 00:20:27,636
why don't you stop thinking
about yourself for a minute?
506
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:29,660
Think about what
you did to that little girl.
507
00:20:31,130 --> 00:20:32,229
You're right.
508
00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:35,377
I guess I've got a big problem.
509
00:20:35,401 --> 00:20:39,582
You better get yourself
some professional help, Arthur.
510
00:20:39,606 --> 00:20:41,483
Yeah, I guess I better.
511
00:20:41,507 --> 00:20:42,785
Hey, Steve.
512
00:20:42,809 --> 00:20:44,653
You still work at this station?
513
00:20:44,677 --> 00:20:46,789
What is it, Richard? We're...
We're... We're busy, here.
514
00:20:46,813 --> 00:20:50,192
Oh, I'm sorry. I... I don't
mean to get nitpicky, Steve,
515
00:20:50,216 --> 00:20:52,895
but we're doing a live
television show out there.
516
00:20:52,919 --> 00:20:54,296
The phones are
ringing off the hook,
517
00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:55,864
and for the past half hour
518
00:20:55,888 --> 00:20:58,800
we've been featuring a slide
of Woody Hayes' house at dusk.
519
00:20:58,824 --> 00:21:00,469
Well, what...? What...?
What about the band?
520
00:21:00,493 --> 00:21:01,603
Can't they play?
521
00:21:01,627 --> 00:21:03,572
The band didn't show
up. The bus broke down.
522
00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:05,474
Well, hum something, then.
523
00:21:05,498 --> 00:21:06,908
I've been humming
for 20 minutes.
524
00:21:06,932 --> 00:21:08,944
My gums are bleeding.
525
00:21:08,968 --> 00:21:11,112
I've got another 28
hours to kill out there,
526
00:21:11,136 --> 00:21:13,882
and right now we've got
Jennifer out there twirling a baton.
527
00:21:13,906 --> 00:21:15,417
Well, she... She's good at that.
528
00:21:15,441 --> 00:21:17,119
She... She can twirl for hours.
529
00:21:18,711 --> 00:21:20,277
Sorry!
530
00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:23,859
Okay, okay, okay, we're coming.
531
00:21:23,883 --> 00:21:24,883
Thank you.
532
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:28,585
Dad, aren't you going to...?
533
00:21:30,489 --> 00:21:31,566
Hello, Mallory.
534
00:21:31,590 --> 00:21:34,136
I thought my father...
535
00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:35,470
I mean, they
really need to, uh...
536
00:21:35,494 --> 00:21:36,994
Mallory, wait.
537
00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:39,130
I'm sorry.
538
00:21:41,868 --> 00:21:43,200
No, it's more than that.
539
00:21:44,270 --> 00:21:46,381
I'm embarrassed.
540
00:21:46,405 --> 00:21:48,150
I'm ashamed.
541
00:21:48,174 --> 00:21:50,519
How could you do that to me?
542
00:21:50,543 --> 00:21:53,855
I don't know. I've
got a problem.
543
00:21:53,879 --> 00:21:55,646
I have to go get some help.
544
00:21:56,916 --> 00:21:58,794
Look, I... I don't expect
you to forgive me,
545
00:21:58,818 --> 00:22:00,028
and I don't know whether things
546
00:22:00,052 --> 00:22:02,765
will ever be the
same between us,
547
00:22:02,789 --> 00:22:06,222
but I hope someday I can
be your Uncle Arthur again.
548
00:22:14,066 --> 00:22:15,766
Well, maybe someday.
549
00:22:22,474 --> 00:22:23,485
Mallory, what...?
550
00:22:23,509 --> 00:22:25,887
Look, Dad, we were just talking.
551
00:22:25,911 --> 00:22:28,312
He apologized. I'm okay.
552
00:22:31,917 --> 00:22:34,217
I'm so sorry this thing
happened, Mallory.
553
00:22:36,055 --> 00:22:38,567
Why did he do it, huh?
554
00:22:38,591 --> 00:22:41,403
I don't know. I
don't think he knows.
555
00:22:41,427 --> 00:22:43,738
Hey, Steve, I got you
penciled in for a speech, buddy.
556
00:22:43,762 --> 00:22:46,708
See? "Eight to
8:15: Steve speaks."
557
00:22:46,732 --> 00:22:48,332
Richard.
558
00:22:49,802 --> 00:22:50,867
Okay.
559
00:22:53,539 --> 00:22:55,717
Go make your
speech. I'm fine, really.
560
00:22:55,741 --> 00:22:57,486
You could have come
to me right away, Mallory.
561
00:22:57,510 --> 00:22:58,653
Maybe I could have helped.
562
00:22:58,677 --> 00:23:00,956
Arthur's your good friend.
563
00:23:00,980 --> 00:23:02,712
You're my daughter.
564
00:23:03,983 --> 00:23:06,261
Nothing's more
important than my family.
565
00:23:06,285 --> 00:23:09,653
Not my work, not
my friends. Nothing.
566
00:23:11,424 --> 00:23:12,424
Mwah.
567
00:23:18,063 --> 00:23:20,096
You used to tell me everything.
568
00:23:21,334 --> 00:23:22,777
I'm older now.
569
00:23:22,801 --> 00:23:24,234
It's not as easy.
570
00:23:26,305 --> 00:23:27,904
I love you, Dad.
571
00:23:30,209 --> 00:23:31,808
I love you too.